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I'm honestly conflicted

I now have the sudden urge to write a NARUTO X X/1999 fic with a Itachi X Subaru pairing or Itachi x Kamui pairing. I don't know, I'm just weird like that XD. Anyway, until then, I'll be satisified with the one I'm currently writing.

Title: Crossroads of the Spirit World
Author: Thiective
Fandom: NARUTO X X/1999
Genre: Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Angst a bit
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I do not own X/1999 or NARUTO, X/1999 belongs to CLAMP while NARUTO belongs to Maasahi Kishimoto
Summary: Kamui couldn’t help but compare them.
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Kamui doesn't understand on how he was attracted to the raven haired man. Sure there are a lot of people with the same personalities as Fuuma, but out of all of them, Kamui is attracted to Itachi the most. Maybe it's Itachi's aura, it gives of the feeling of danger and darkness that comes out in waves or the fact that Kamui can see mystery after mystery that are hidden with secrets within Itachi's soul. Perhaps it's the way that Itachi carries himself, the pride of a mercenary but there were grace and elegance in his movements, and that's comes from years of training or how he's been raised up. Or that he draws most of his emotions in him before he wears an emotionless mask, making Kamui flinch a bit since it reminds him of Subaru.

If anything, Kamui couldn't help but compare Itachi with Fuuma, even though there are differences that are so subtle while the similarities are blaring at him. Maybe this one of the advantages of being dead, you have a long, long time to think. Perhaps it's the fact that both of them are prodigies, but Itachi hated that word and Fuuma, he isn't sure whether he hates or likes to gloat at it. Perhaps it's how Itachi tries to protect Sasuke after his clan's massacre, the same as Fuuma tries to protect Kamui after killing his own sister. Perhaps is the way Itachi forced Sasuke to chase after him in hate and anger, like how Fuuma force Kamui to chase after him in desperate hope. Perhaps it’s the way how Sasuke comes to seek comfort from Itachi, like how Kamui comes to seek comfort from Fuuma. Or maybe is how they carried their regret, by holding it and not confiding it to anyone they know.

But then, even their differences made themselves known. Like Itachi's eyes, Kamui shuddered as he remembers those red eyes with spinning black tomoes, those eyes aren't what he wants to talk about. It's Itachi's normal onyx eyes that sometimes reminds Kamui of Fuuma, but it also gives Kamui a painful reminder that Itachi seen much more worse at very young age, not even coming close to either Fuuma or Subaru. That, or perhaps Itachi left tiny clues or hints for anyone back in his home town to look in, while Fuuma hadn't and chose to jump in when Kamui was at his vulnerability. Perhaps it's how long Itachi and Sasuke became enemies compared to how long Fuuma and Kamui been. Perhaps it's the way how Itachi treats his younger brother, even after the clan massacre, while Fuuma, after becoming Dragon of Earth, treats Kamui as if he was some sort of toy to play with. Or perhaps when Itachi said to Sasuke he was sorry before he died, but then Kamui never got to hear it from Fuuma.

Lips kissed away his tears, Kamui found himself staring into Itachi's eyes.

"You're crying again." Kamui winced at this and forced himself to look away from Itachi's eyes, knowing it was the truth. Feeling Itachi's finger curl slightly under his chin to gently force Kamui to look at him. Itachi's eyes narrowed a bit as he already knows the answer by heart beat.

"It's Fuuma, isn't?" Kamui tightened his eyes and swallowed down another wave of tears that threaten to come out, so he nodded. He couldn't help it, he couldn't help the fact that he loves Fuuma and how much 'persuasion' he had put into Kamui, just to make Kamui understand that he, only he, belongs to Fuuma. While Kamui couldn't help but let himself fall for Itachi, for how much he kept Kamui company in the spirit world, for how much he let Kamui feel the comfort from the aftermath of 1999, for how Itachi is with Kamui when they exchange their life stories. Kamui really couldn't help the fact that he had fallen into much deeper attraction for Itachi, and that fact is enough to make him feel guilty for betraying Fuuma when there isn't anything left in that relationship! Lips connected with his to silence his train of thoughts, and Kamui felt his mind went blank with hesitation as he wrapped his arms around Itachi's bare neck. Itachi arms around his body kept him there, even when Itachi pulled back.

"Do you want to forget him?" Itachi whispered to Kamui, but Itachi frowned when he sees Kamui shook his head in no, sighing he let's his forehead rest against Kamui's forehead.

"I-I'm sorry-I can't-just make the hurt" Itachi didn't let Kamui finished as he already know what it is, silencing him in another kiss. Itachi wouldn't force Kamui to forget about Fuuma, because a part of Kamui would always cherished Fuuma. Then, there was this guilt that Kamui is harboring which is also for Fuuma. Itachi, maybe he is slightly jealous of Fuuma for that affection Kamui has for him. Even so, Itachi would feel the urge to give in to the rage for all the hurt Fuuma inflicted on Kamui when he heard Kamui's story, but Itachi was no better than Fuuma either. But then, he wouldn't do it since that would make Kamui more upset than he is now. Kamui has so much, his own heart grew through the injuries because of how much he cares for others, because of how much his own role played after finishing a chess match with Fate itself. That's maybe one of the reason as to why Itachi is attracted to Kamui. Right now, Itachi rather distract Kamui from having thoughts of Fuuma in his mind, anything better than thinking of their own chaotic past is easier said than done.
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